My Geekdom

39% Geek

Die Kinder und I Kampf

*The Children and I Fight*

18

I did not expect the number to be that high. Ah well, bring it on!

National Day of Silence

Yay!
Some way to make an impact on those surrounding us! I love the GLBTQ community and those involved with it! Some Christians would have conniptions if they heard a professing and practicing Christian say that. As if I can't love gays and be Christian. Pish-posh!

So far today has gone pretty well. I made a few mistakes by making little confirmatory noises and things but otherwise, I've been okay.

One of the not so good things is that I just had a conversation with a friend of mine via texting. He is also Christian but doesn't seem to feel the same way I do about homosexuality. I told him I could talk to him because of DOS but he said the day is pointless and made the comment that no one would know why we are silent if we couldn't talk. As if we are stupid enough to have a day of silence to show people that discrimination against LGBTQ is going on and needs to be stopped without telling people why we are having the day. The conversation stopped after I told him we aren't stupid.

This makes me wonder if I'm all alone in my thoughts concerning how Christians should be. I personally think that there is nothing wrong with gays. Gays are people, it's just another classification. That's all. However, I am aware of what the Bible says so I cannot deny that is says that homosexuality is a sin. Unfortunately, most people stop there. They don't go on the rest of the list (as homosexuality is always placed in a list of other things considered sin by God) and attempt to condemn those people. If everyone is a sinner, then while only hate homosexuals? Shouldn't you hate all sinners if you are going to do that? Yeah, you should. If we were to do that then there would be no religion. What I feel Christians should do is accept everyone. Accept everyone for all of their short comings. God calls us to love not to hate. There should be no such thing as a non-gay-affirming church. No church should not accept someone regardless of what that person has done whether kill a little kid or simply love someone of the same gender.

I've had a conversation before with the same friend I was texting. He questioned me of whether or not I thought that a person could be born GBLTQ. I told him that truly thought that it doesn't matter as all are sinners in the first place but that it was highly possible based solely off of Biblical truths. Everyone knows that sin is in the flesh. And that Satan has power over this world. Also, flesh is of this world. Therefore, Satan has power over flesh which houses our minds from which our sexual orientation comes. If people can be born with a tendency to be angry/have a quick temper then why couldn't they have a genetic predisposition to be gay?

But none of that matters. We are all children of God and loved by God. We as Christians are attempting to love just as God loves and should therefore extend that love to everyone.

I think that I would like to have offspring just to have someone know and understand that people are people are people, regardless of sexual orientation or any thing else that makes us all so wonderfully different as determined by God the Father.

I think I can come off of my soap box now. I could talk about LGBTQ issues all day! I wish I could run into one of those sign toting protesters who don't know just how much God really loves everyone.

Self

Dangerous Liaisons

The theatre has taken control over my life.

I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. I now know a lot more about all that goes into producing a performance. And boy is it a lot of work from a lot of people. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if the cast were smaller (10+ people).

I'm running lights. My job should be really easy, pushing a button. But since the prof who was supposed to be setting up the cues really can't due to being one in several million to get a flesh eating virus I have to do lots of wierd things with the light board. But I'm learning and it's not that bad. It could be a lot worse.

Thank God it isn't.

Self
(I'm really aggitated with my laptop as it erased that last paragraph then blogspot autosave the erasing. I HATE having to re-write things.)

Personality Test

Interesting and pretty accurate.

日本語

B/c I felt like it.

日本語が好きだよ！キョウ君はかこいいだ、ね？キョウ君が愛してるよ!

おねがい、フルバがよる。

セルフ　（Self）

Relay for Life

Relay for Life was today. I got to have really good baked goods from my team's bake sale and cry a little. I normally do well with death and talking about it but for some reason (I blame personal involvement) the death of my great-uncle to lung cancer hurt me more than any other. And believe me people in my family like to die. We get at least 4 or so a year. Sometimes less but even if you do go to the funeral you hear about so-and-so's cousin or that-person's brother dying. Half the time I don't know the person and even if I do it's become so passe. Odd, I just said that it's passe to die. But it's true everyone does it. With the exception of a few Biblical figures. Anywho, About my uncle. I helped take care of him even before he was diagnosed. After he was diagnosed people came out of the woodwork and decided to occasionally (maybe more often than that word connotes) help my immediate family take care of him. For my dad this was the second victim of lung cancer he had to help. Well not had but you understand. Last time it was his grandpa, my great-uncle's father. You'd think if your dad died of lung cancer from smoking you'd stop. Oh well. It was too late once we found out. It was odd, he really didn't have many symptoms from what I could tell. A cough then a few x-rays later and oh, you have a large cell carcinoma in you lungs (I forget which type precisely otherwise my sciency brain would have compelled me to put here for you. It's too late to find out now, my mom threw away the paper a little while ago.) It took a while for him to really begin to show the pain. Once he couldn't hide it any more he seemed so defeated. It's really hard watching someone you care about lose all of their dignity and self-respect because they feel they are a burden and shouldn't be receiving so much help. It made it difficult to do things for him some times. He refused wheelchairs despite needing one since he had a stroke several years ago. He refused to move into a handicapped apartment because and I quote "I'm not handicapped." Stated around the time when he attempts to enter his apartment and can barely get his foot over the threshold. It amazed me sometimes that he made it over the curb of the sidewalk. I remember once closer to the end when the cancer began to metastasize, he asked me as I walked behind him if I was going to catch him if he began to fall. It surprised me that he admitted it but it showed how far along he'd come from denial of the cancer to acceptance of the fact that he was deteriorating. It forced me to accept it to. I don't think it will be easy to forget that moment of realization that there was definitely no way he would win the fight. He was already weak when diagnosed and then when it was he was it stage three without surgery as a option. I really miss my uncle. It saddens me that I'll never hear his laugh again or see him wring his hands while listening to people talk. I never get to fix his plate for him adding butt loads of pepper to everything on it. I never rearrange anything in his bedroom for him or fix his sheets and pillowcases. I'll never drive him to the store and marvel at his very country way of explaining what he wanted. And the list goes on. Granted I didn't always want to help but I did. Even still it's sad to realize this but kind of a relief all the same. It was tough seeing him go through all of it. The pain he tried to hide from everyone but the nurse/maid that visited his apartment. The sickness his cocktail of meds caused. And perhaps the most sealing thing of all for me, even more so than his comment to me was the DNR order taped to the wall above his bed. Being a cancer patient caregiver is difficult. At the relay, I could have joined the group of caregivers but I didn't. At the time I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it being so close to when he died. I even appreciated it when we did the luminary ceremony when my eyes were very misty. But now I wish I'd gone for him. I feel the luminary wasn't enough. I feel I should have honored him while the wounds were fresh. While he's still fresh and fully loved and not forgotten in my heart.
If I go again next year I don't know if I'll join. Nothing can make up for this year. But next time, next Relay, I'll do what's in my heart. I hope I can honor all of those before me and all the other caretakers whose hearts ache just as mine has and still does. I hope to glorify and honor God, thanking Him for the support and love of those behind the Relay. I hope to honor and do justice to the will of my heart and soul, giving them what they need to finally lay my uncle Ned to rest. And hopefully ease this pain. But never forget it.

Sorry this is so very long. But I needed a place to vent all of this thought about my loved one.

Self

Miyazaki

Man...I just watched the most depressing movie I've seen in a while. It was a Miyazaki movie just like Spirited Away but geez, it was awful because it was good. It was Grave of the Fireflies. I didn't think it would be that sad or maybe that it even would be happy. But no it was a war film. About a boy and his little sister struggling to survive after their mother is killed in an air raid by US planes. It's terrible. And then it gets worse when the boy finds out that his father died in the war and he was left alone to tkae care of his sister. I guess I should have known that I shouldn't expect anything very happy when it started with the boy's death making the entire movie one big flashback. Although, I was thinking that it couldn't be that bad considering it is a Miyazaki film and all of his films have wierd things happening and things being okay in the end even if they aren't perfect. Boy was I really wrong. Ah, well. I need to do something to lift my spirits. Too bad what really faces me is exercise and homework. Oh joy.

Self

The Technical First Meme

Four Jobs I have had in my life (for which I was paid):
Telemarketer
Tutor
that's all that I was actually paid for

Four Movies I would watch/have watched over and over:
Pumpkinhead
Harry Potter (all that have been made)
Disney's Lion King
Rent

Four Places that I have lived:
G-wood, SC (two different locations here if that counts)
SP, SC
nowhere else

Four TV Shows that I watch:
Bleach
CSI: (Nevada) Miami
Law & Order: SVU
Naruto

Four Places I have visited:
Jacksonville, FL
Anderson. SC
Hartwell, GA (and by default Elberton) I love small towns
Charlotte, NC

Four People who email me regularly:
the college
Facebook
NY Times
Elisa

Four Favorite Foods:
Tuna (in sushi and out of cans, think I'd love it if I had it whole!)
100% Apple Juice
any carb (I'm a carb addict)
shrimp

Four Places I would like to be right now:
my house underneath our old chopped down cedar tree in our hammock
a hot clean nondorm shower
with my sober grandpa
some comfy place flirting with a hot Christian single guy

Four Things I am looking forward to this year:
summer break
gardening this summer (esp. strawberries)
getting a job which doesn't involve getting hung up on by angry people
the end of April

Four People who should post Four Things:
as I don't know many ppl in blog verse no one or rather any who would wish to post

Self

My First Meme

Okay, Mm has tagged me for this and here are the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (at least 123 pages).
2. Turn to page 123.
3. Find the 5th sentence
4. Post the 5th sentence on your blog.
5. Tag 5 people.

So I pick you Speaker for the Dead! By Orson Scott Card. Now...to dig out the book...(I hate coming back from breaks. I'm lazy about unpacking...)

p. 123's 5th sentence:
"The mention of their mother silenced them."

Now 5 people...do I know 5 ppl in blog verse?
Moon, S, and I guess whoever wants to do it.

Self