Yep. I'm posting.
Well, I wasn't going to but something is bothering me. Everyone here on campus (well most of my friends) comments that they don't want to mentor a freshman that is religious. And then say they don't like religious people. I guess I have been misbehaving rather badly in the Christian department. I haven't been to church here in college town in a while. I don't like the churches I've been too as they weren't lively enough. I want a church where people aren't afraid to praise God when they feel like it. I want people to show emotion when they sing. So I stopped. I'm not very active with the Christian organizations on campus either. I guess I need to get back in the game. It's worse off than I thought. Oh well, what is past is past. No way to change it. Guess I gotta work on the future now. Yep, lots to do in school and in self.
ttyl
self
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
bras confuse me
Today, I went bra shopping. I hate it especially since they are expensive but I need new ones. From a previous shopping excursion I found that I seem to be in between sizes, so I sought the Playtex Thank Goodness It Fits half sizes. Couldn't find them today or previously. So I opted to two sizes. I grabbed both A and B of the cheapest ones and took them to the dressing room.
Both fit. I don't get it. I think something is wrong with that brand. Why can't there just be a standard cup size between brands? The band size stays the same, why can't the cup? Sigh...I'll have to try and look somewhere else for the half sizes or random bras that fit as well as possible. Hopefully, they will be cheap.
self
Both fit. I don't get it. I think something is wrong with that brand. Why can't there just be a standard cup size between brands? The band size stays the same, why can't the cup? Sigh...I'll have to try and look somewhere else for the half sizes or random bras that fit as well as possible. Hopefully, they will be cheap.
self
Monday, June 29, 2009
Body Image
You know a lot of women have body image issues and I account myself as one of them. Some people would think me crazy because I'm a bean pole but I do.
I've been thinking about this lately due to a blog post by Mm. I was a simple statement but a hurtful one. She mentions much as a lot of people do that a friend of hers looks like a "real" woman. I, like a lot of thin women, hate these comments. Just because I happen to fit the stereotype of beautiful more than you does not make me an less "real" than you are. I'm tired of hearing people say "I'll give you some of mine." and "I wish I had your problem" when I mention not being able to do something do to my small size. I'm tired of being told I'm 12 (although I have been getting 15 recently. Marked improvement I'll say).
But after sitting and thinking as well as reading other blogs, I came to realize that all the ads in the media are to blame. For both sides of hate talk. Admittedly overweight women have it a lot worse but I don't think it's fair to dismiss my complaints just because so stupid fashion designer decided that anorexic was a good look. It's not my total fault I'm thin. I also shouldn't blame all the overweight women picking up the slogan "real women have curves." I applaud the effort to help normal and overweight women feel better which is a good thing but that is hurtful to me. I often feel that I couldn't possibly be attractive enough since I can fit into a size 2-4 and wear an A-cup. But now is the time to end all this. At least for me.
Recently, something just clicked in my head or changed in me...I'm feeling more of the second. I guess it was an epiphany of sorts. I just realized that the media doesn't decide what is beautiful. Nor do those who tell me "Wow, you're SO skinny." as though they feel sorry for me. I personally want to weigh more but now it's for health reasons. Who decides that I am beautiful as God made me is me. No one else. I personally would like to see an end to all this "real" women business. All women are real. Whether we happen to fall in the small percentage of underweight, the growing percentage (around 57% I think) of those classified as overweight, or some where in between, I think we should ignore the media and just support each other realizing that we all have beauty.
I'd also like to say, sometimes I can not understand why some bigger women even want to lose weight. I can think of some people who look gorgeous fitting the label obese. And I personally think that if there are no health problems and they are happy they should be left alone. And vice versa, although, thin people don't face nearly as much ridicule as those on the other end of the spectrum.
Ah, what it must be to not be told "you need to eat more" or "you need to eat less" and just be average. What would the world be like if we heard "you look good!" instead?
self
I've been thinking about this lately due to a blog post by Mm. I was a simple statement but a hurtful one. She mentions much as a lot of people do that a friend of hers looks like a "real" woman. I, like a lot of thin women, hate these comments. Just because I happen to fit the stereotype of beautiful more than you does not make me an less "real" than you are. I'm tired of hearing people say "I'll give you some of mine." and "I wish I had your problem" when I mention not being able to do something do to my small size. I'm tired of being told I'm 12 (although I have been getting 15 recently. Marked improvement I'll say).
But after sitting and thinking as well as reading other blogs, I came to realize that all the ads in the media are to blame. For both sides of hate talk. Admittedly overweight women have it a lot worse but I don't think it's fair to dismiss my complaints just because so stupid fashion designer decided that anorexic was a good look. It's not my total fault I'm thin. I also shouldn't blame all the overweight women picking up the slogan "real women have curves." I applaud the effort to help normal and overweight women feel better which is a good thing but that is hurtful to me. I often feel that I couldn't possibly be attractive enough since I can fit into a size 2-4 and wear an A-cup. But now is the time to end all this. At least for me.
Recently, something just clicked in my head or changed in me...I'm feeling more of the second. I guess it was an epiphany of sorts. I just realized that the media doesn't decide what is beautiful. Nor do those who tell me "Wow, you're SO skinny." as though they feel sorry for me. I personally want to weigh more but now it's for health reasons. Who decides that I am beautiful as God made me is me. No one else. I personally would like to see an end to all this "real" women business. All women are real. Whether we happen to fall in the small percentage of underweight, the growing percentage (around 57% I think) of those classified as overweight, or some where in between, I think we should ignore the media and just support each other realizing that we all have beauty.
I'd also like to say, sometimes I can not understand why some bigger women even want to lose weight. I can think of some people who look gorgeous fitting the label obese. And I personally think that if there are no health problems and they are happy they should be left alone. And vice versa, although, thin people don't face nearly as much ridicule as those on the other end of the spectrum.
Ah, what it must be to not be told "you need to eat more" or "you need to eat less" and just be average. What would the world be like if we heard "you look good!" instead?
self
Thursday, March 12, 2009
tired...sleepy
OK to start, I signed that in my head. ASL penetrates into all aspects of my life. I randomly sign things while I'm thinking or talking to others. especially fingerspelling. I do it without realizing I'm doing it sometimes. I don't know I'm doing it until someone asks me what I was spelling. I wonder sometimes how often I fingerspell when I'm alone without knowing it. I should video tape myself and find out. not going to bother, waste of film.
anyways, back to topic of the post even though I never started it in the first place. I am tired. I have been tired for a while.(mostly at the end of a day) It make me think I could be anemic. But then I think back to my sleeping habits and tell myself I'll go to bed early and see if I really am then never make it bed to early to test the theory. So, I'll try to get into bed tonight at a descent hour but then it's Friday so I don't know if that's going to happen.
You know, I have an energy drink. But the interesting thing is I have no clue what it will do to me. Could make me sleepy could give me energy. Caffiene has an odd effect on me you see, opposite(2 servings of strong coffee or so) in fact. But the drink also has crap loads of sugar, which makes me hyper. What will happen? I really should experiment on myself. So now is not the time. I want to do it from a baseline of not hyper, not tired. just normal. Which again requires me to get sleep. sigh. sleep and college student don't agree in most situations. partly our fault, partly life. This all could be just a long day as my MWTh's are.
self
anyways, back to topic of the post even though I never started it in the first place. I am tired. I have been tired for a while.(mostly at the end of a day) It make me think I could be anemic. But then I think back to my sleeping habits and tell myself I'll go to bed early and see if I really am then never make it bed to early to test the theory. So, I'll try to get into bed tonight at a descent hour but then it's Friday so I don't know if that's going to happen.
You know, I have an energy drink. But the interesting thing is I have no clue what it will do to me. Could make me sleepy could give me energy. Caffiene has an odd effect on me you see, opposite(2 servings of strong coffee or so) in fact. But the drink also has crap loads of sugar, which makes me hyper. What will happen? I really should experiment on myself. So now is not the time. I want to do it from a baseline of not hyper, not tired. just normal. Which again requires me to get sleep. sigh. sleep and college student don't agree in most situations. partly our fault, partly life. This all could be just a long day as my MWTh's are.
self
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Am I a Geek?
You know I talk about the oddness of my friends and me often. But I just realized that we really and truly DON'T have normal conversations.
Examples:
No. 1
Yesterday, Moon had an odd headache that was partly sinusitis, partly migraine. She inquired as to which med she should take: sinus med or Excedrin. So she began to describe what hurt. She started with the pressure in her face and pain in the eye then went into the pain in her upper occipital lobe and frontal lobe, parietal lobe, and along the sensory-motor cortex (she now gives me more info than she did last night). At first I just accepted the info and was about to give my suggestion when it hit me: most people don't discuss head pain in terms of lobes. Most say the side of my head hurts or the back of my head hurts. This is how communication normally takes place. But since the two of us like psychology our communication was a bit different. Can you tell me where her head was hurting? I doubt most could.
No. 2
Today I had a conversation with Perv on Facebook. We were talking and being, well his name, he asked me if he could be my secant* line. I promptly said no, and I would not spoon with him. He was first confused then it dawned on him that I understood him perfectly. I guess he thought he could get away with a perv suggestion. Too bad for him that I really like calculus. We continued talking and then he once again asked a perv question: If I were your endoplasmic reticulum* how would you want me? Now this is a question he knew I would get considering we are both bio majors.
Can you see how ridiculously geeky my friends and I are? But it is rather enjoyable when you can randomly go "I'm a scolex!" and people laugh and get you.
beaming up,
self
*secant line is a line that crosses a circle at two points. my reference to spooning was more preventative of him not trying to request being a tanget line
*endoplasmic reticulum (ER) is a part of cells which can be smooth or rough
Examples:
No. 1
Yesterday, Moon had an odd headache that was partly sinusitis, partly migraine. She inquired as to which med she should take: sinus med or Excedrin. So she began to describe what hurt. She started with the pressure in her face and pain in the eye then went into the pain in her upper occipital lobe and frontal lobe, parietal lobe, and along the sensory-motor cortex (she now gives me more info than she did last night). At first I just accepted the info and was about to give my suggestion when it hit me: most people don't discuss head pain in terms of lobes. Most say the side of my head hurts or the back of my head hurts. This is how communication normally takes place. But since the two of us like psychology our communication was a bit different. Can you tell me where her head was hurting? I doubt most could.
No. 2
Today I had a conversation with Perv on Facebook. We were talking and being, well his name, he asked me if he could be my secant* line. I promptly said no, and I would not spoon with him. He was first confused then it dawned on him that I understood him perfectly. I guess he thought he could get away with a perv suggestion. Too bad for him that I really like calculus. We continued talking and then he once again asked a perv question: If I were your endoplasmic reticulum* how would you want me? Now this is a question he knew I would get considering we are both bio majors.
Can you see how ridiculously geeky my friends and I are? But it is rather enjoyable when you can randomly go "I'm a scolex!" and people laugh and get you.
beaming up,
self
*secant line is a line that crosses a circle at two points. my reference to spooning was more preventative of him not trying to request being a tanget line
*endoplasmic reticulum (ER) is a part of cells which can be smooth or rough
Monday, March 9, 2009
My finger...
hurts. Don't really know why I started it this way but I did. Guess because I wanted to. Who knows?
Anywho, I'm thinking of buying a college ring online and am toying with the idea of asking to join the ring ceremony. But then I don't know if I want to go through all the trouble of the tradition. Asking faculty to be my sponsor. Talking with my parents about something. Finding stuff to wear. But I think it would be a nice memory. I guess I should talk with our class pres to find out if I can join then decide if I want to.
I also need to pick a gift for my mum. And decide which weekend I want to visit her. I also need to pick a girt for my big's graduation and her b-day too. Sigh, were on earth does money come from and why can't I locate this source?
Ring, possible summer course, 3 gifts, littles...I wish money grew underneath my bed where I could pick it out at will. Would be nice. Maybe only $300 a month. I don't care any little bit would help. I'd gladly accept a dollar. Be very surprised but happy.
Oh big = my mentor, little = my mentor-ee (what is the word for the reciprocal?)
self
i feel rather out of it right now...
Anywho, I'm thinking of buying a college ring online and am toying with the idea of asking to join the ring ceremony. But then I don't know if I want to go through all the trouble of the tradition. Asking faculty to be my sponsor. Talking with my parents about something. Finding stuff to wear. But I think it would be a nice memory. I guess I should talk with our class pres to find out if I can join then decide if I want to.
I also need to pick a gift for my mum. And decide which weekend I want to visit her. I also need to pick a girt for my big's graduation and her b-day too. Sigh, were on earth does money come from and why can't I locate this source?
Ring, possible summer course, 3 gifts, littles...I wish money grew underneath my bed where I could pick it out at will. Would be nice. Maybe only $300 a month. I don't care any little bit would help. I'd gladly accept a dollar. Be very surprised but happy.
Oh big = my mentor, little = my mentor-ee (what is the word for the reciprocal?)
self
i feel rather out of it right now...
Friday, February 27, 2009
Jonas!!!
Yes, I like the Jonas Brothers.
They are amazing! I just got back from going to see the 3D movie (yeah opening night!! haha! :)) I loved it! Aside from the middle schoolers screaming at everything, it was great. 3D is really cool. I think I'd like to go see the movie again. I'm really glad I and all those I went with got tickets on Fandango ahead of time. Apparently I countibuted to massive sales. Hm. Good for JB. I personally would like one of Nick and Kevin's guitars. Hm...Kevin giving it to me in person...hehe. It was really fun to go out with friends to see a group you all like even if it was just a 3D version of their concert.
Moon and Taiyou probably don't care anything about Jonas. Or how good Joe looks shirtless. Maybe a bit about the latter but that's onlly female interest and only then if they like muscle.
I need sleep, I've already stayed up to late. At roughly 11:00, I look out the window and saw the parking lot. I mistook it for water. I knew the water was the ocean, yet I still accepted the cars sitting on/in it. That was 50 minutes ago. To bed I go.
Oh, if you ever go to TGI Fridays try the Cajun Shrimp and Chicken pasta. It's really good. And our waiter was friendly. I wish another one of our friends could have been there but she had the "plague" that was going around. "plague" is one of many things: flu, bronchitus, or some unknown thing that could be a variant of flu. We aren't sure. But either way this campus is infected. My mum even got it from being here only a few hours.
going to bed now almost an hour after I said I should/would.
self
They are amazing! I just got back from going to see the 3D movie (yeah opening night!! haha! :)) I loved it! Aside from the middle schoolers screaming at everything, it was great. 3D is really cool. I think I'd like to go see the movie again. I'm really glad I and all those I went with got tickets on Fandango ahead of time. Apparently I countibuted to massive sales. Hm. Good for JB. I personally would like one of Nick and Kevin's guitars. Hm...Kevin giving it to me in person...hehe. It was really fun to go out with friends to see a group you all like even if it was just a 3D version of their concert.
Moon and Taiyou probably don't care anything about Jonas. Or how good Joe looks shirtless. Maybe a bit about the latter but that's onlly female interest and only then if they like muscle.
I need sleep, I've already stayed up to late. At roughly 11:00, I look out the window and saw the parking lot. I mistook it for water. I knew the water was the ocean, yet I still accepted the cars sitting on/in it. That was 50 minutes ago. To bed I go.
Oh, if you ever go to TGI Fridays try the Cajun Shrimp and Chicken pasta. It's really good. And our waiter was friendly. I wish another one of our friends could have been there but she had the "plague" that was going around. "plague" is one of many things: flu, bronchitus, or some unknown thing that could be a variant of flu. We aren't sure. But either way this campus is infected. My mum even got it from being here only a few hours.
going to bed now almost an hour after I said I should/would.
self
Saturday, February 21, 2009
bleh...
That's an odd title for me. It's more like one for Moon.
Anywho, the point of the post: Why is it that I feel bad when I make my roomie feel bad when I didn't mean to in the first place? I wish that wasn't so, but Moon is a mch more sensitive person than I am (at least with many things) so when I say things, possibly jokingly, she gets upset. Sometimes it confuses me. She gets teary eyed and sad looking. Then it makes me sads and sightly panicky because I don't want her to cry. I don't like it when Moon cries. I often don't understand whe she's crying, or about to, in the first place. I should make more effort to understand where my roomie is coming from. It's a very different thought world from my own. I guess our thought world collide in many areas but are really foreign in others. You know this could possibly be a racial thing. Idk. But possibly. Could just be personal difference. Who knows?
Hey maybe I could do a psych experiment on racial differences in what makes people cry.
I am a science major.
self
ps. Love you Moon! (help me understand your tears!)
Anywho, the point of the post: Why is it that I feel bad when I make my roomie feel bad when I didn't mean to in the first place? I wish that wasn't so, but Moon is a mch more sensitive person than I am (at least with many things) so when I say things, possibly jokingly, she gets upset. Sometimes it confuses me. She gets teary eyed and sad looking. Then it makes me sads and sightly panicky because I don't want her to cry. I don't like it when Moon cries. I often don't understand whe she's crying, or about to, in the first place. I should make more effort to understand where my roomie is coming from. It's a very different thought world from my own. I guess our thought world collide in many areas but are really foreign in others. You know this could possibly be a racial thing. Idk. But possibly. Could just be personal difference. Who knows?
Hey maybe I could do a psych experiment on racial differences in what makes people cry.
I am a science major.
self
ps. Love you Moon! (help me understand your tears!)
Friday, February 13, 2009
Moon discouraged me from getting the laser whip. The art major fused at the science major to prevent her from bending light in a way that it doesn't bend. I say that's it's futuristic or maybe even an alternate theory of light. I'm willing to let it go. And have fun. It also could have something to do with me wanting a light whip or just a whip...hm. what would i do with it besides hurt myself playing around with it?
self
Sunday, January 25, 2009
A New Love
Actually two.
I like music. Lots of it. Most actually. However, Moon can attest to how I dislike (at times greatly dislike) certain folk groups. They make catchy songs but I really get tired of their voices quickly. I could never listen to Kingston Trio for more than like 3 songs without wanting to stab whoever is tormenting me.
Anywho, a good friend has gotten me intersted in the Jonas Brothers. In actuality, it was more another friend who has huge posters all over her side of the dorm room covered in their faces. I began to wonder what was so great about them. I'd never bothered listening to them. Until now. I like them. I also like looking at them. That's always a plus. (Joe is particularily hot when he wants to be. Nick is really cute but 16 :P and Kevin looks amazing in his vintage clothes and sideburns.) ***Tangent***
I normally hate thick sideburns but Kevin makes them look really good. At least to me. I never thought I'd like the whole Elvis 'burns...oh well. Things change.
The other love is T.M. Revolution. I liked him previously but this same friend (not the Jonas otaku* but the other one) recently rediscovered him and helped me to do the same. He is amazing including when he appears to and is cross-dressing.
I need to find a downloading site for Japanese music...
self
*otaku is used here in more the Japanese sense without the negativity. So more of a mix of American "being-an-otaku-isn't-bad" and the Japanese "that-person-is-an-obsessed-idiot."
I like music. Lots of it. Most actually. However, Moon can attest to how I dislike (at times greatly dislike) certain folk groups. They make catchy songs but I really get tired of their voices quickly. I could never listen to Kingston Trio for more than like 3 songs without wanting to stab whoever is tormenting me.
Anywho, a good friend has gotten me intersted in the Jonas Brothers. In actuality, it was more another friend who has huge posters all over her side of the dorm room covered in their faces. I began to wonder what was so great about them. I'd never bothered listening to them. Until now. I like them. I also like looking at them. That's always a plus. (Joe is particularily hot when he wants to be. Nick is really cute but 16 :P and Kevin looks amazing in his vintage clothes and sideburns.) ***Tangent***
I normally hate thick sideburns but Kevin makes them look really good. At least to me. I never thought I'd like the whole Elvis 'burns...oh well. Things change.
The other love is T.M. Revolution. I liked him previously but this same friend (not the Jonas otaku* but the other one) recently rediscovered him and helped me to do the same. He is amazing including when he appears to and is cross-dressing.
I need to find a downloading site for Japanese music...
self
*otaku is used here in more the Japanese sense without the negativity. So more of a mix of American "being-an-otaku-isn't-bad" and the Japanese "that-person-is-an-obsessed-idiot."
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Fun Defintion
I just wrote this nice post about this definition I came across in Mm's blog and it just got erased. Wonderful. I now feel no need to re-write my thoughts. It rather upsets me to re-write things as i can never have it the same way as I did the first time when it's fresh and new. Hopefully this will publish despite the huge red ERROR going across my screen right now.
Self
ps. the word was coital
Self
ps. the word was coital
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